Life Lately

Perhaps growth shouldn't be loud

It’s been a minute since I sat down to put my thoughts in words.

The past couple of months have stretched me in ways I didn’t expect. One of them is my six-month clinical experience.

I spent months rotating different clinical setting; caring for people at their lowest, watching how quickly life can take a detour because of illness, poor lifestyle choices, or substance abuse.

It was deeply humbling to see and some moments stayed with me long after my shifts ended.

This year has also made me think deeply about relationships.

The kind of relationship I want to have, the kind of person I want to be and I’ve realised that what holds relationships is purpose.

Beyond cruise and vibes, there has to be mutual support, growth, and the ability to draw from each other’s well.

And who knows, maybe that’s why some relationships fade with time, because there's absolutely nothing holding it.

I'm also learning to live for an audience of one.

One thing that has been particularly difficult for me these past few months is missing someone very close to me. They’re one of the few people who genuinely understand me, but right now, they’re away for something important, and communication has been impossible.

And honestly, it has reminded me just how imperative meaningful relationships are.

I’ve had some struggles too.

Too much doom-scrolling instead of studying. Trying to do too many things at once. My mind has felt like a browser with too many tabs open, and sometimes it becomes difficult to slow down mentally.

Another struggle I’ve had is staying consistent with my prayer routine and sleeping a little too much.

But somewhere in the middle of all of this, I’ve also genuinely enjoyed my own company.

One thing I’ve taken a step back from is constantly checking in on everyone, trying to carry people emotionally, and always pouring out. And while I still deeply care about people, I’m learning that I cannot endlessly pour from myself all the time.

What have I been doing for fun?

Well, my quiet moments are spent tweeting, listening to sermons or podcasts as usual, worshipping, watching YouTube videos, and learning makeup.

Finally, I’m leaving behind the need to overexplain, to overthink everything, and to internalise too much.

Now, I just want to focus. Focus on becoming the kind of woman God can trust.

I don’t know how the rest of this year will unfold. I still have unanswered prayers and things I’m trusting God for. But if this season has taught me anything, it’s this: God is faithful.

How has the first half of the year been for you? I hope you’ve been holding up pretty well.